Europe bound!

I can't wait to go to europe!! Maybe I will coem back a changed person. Maybe I will come back and have things to talk about besides relationships and as my friend trevor would say my "seinfeld" episodes. He thinks that i make the biggest deals out of the smallest things and that I am crazy paranoid. I happen to agree. But years of relationships and dating has made me over cautious to the point of craziness!! Its just way to hard to believe that I man can actually be nice to me and genuinely like me. THERE HAS TO BE A ALTERIOR MOTIVE RIGHT??? I guess maybe I am crazy...but for the nest few weeks maybe ill try to "act" sane and hopefully it may come naturally after that.

WHEN WHY WHO WHAT

In relationships, when is it okay to ask those questions. For some couples it takes 2 days. For others, those questions are not allowed. Which couple seems that have more confidence and security? I dont know. "I willl tell you everything and all to prove I love you". That seems too crazy. Always telling what and who you are with where and when. Its too much for me. On the other hand I cant stand not knowing any of the time. I like to know whats going on. What is the happy medium? I have yet to discover it with someone but I am crossing my fingers.

Do TELL

Meeting someone is new and exciting. But what happens when you get to the point where you have to tell them things. Like your health problems, where you are and who you are with, Who is calling you. Those situations are awkward and annoying. You dont know how the other will react to you. If they like you will they care? WIll this ruin everything? As well as you being the one asking the questions. What are you allowed to ask? What is the limit? What if the person you are with doesnt talk alot and you do? Are you compatible? I just dont know. I wish that you could skip all that and just accept and be accpeted for you and all of you.

ADICT!

You know what is addictive? The new ness of a relationship...first hug, first touch, first kiss. This is when you hopefully get the excited and nervous butterfly feeling in your stomach anticipating seeing the person and what may happen when you do. I believe that feeling is addictive- or it might be commitment phobia. I am not too sure at this point. All I know is that its terrifying to think of being with one person the rest of your life. Where you will never feel those butterflies again but only have the faint memory of them existing. I know it turns into "deeper" and "comfortable" love but where is the excitment in that? I am just stating my opinion and not putting down long term relationships. I guess I just dont believe in monogamy. From my experience everyone in the world has cheated or been cheated on. I know I have. Why go through that? Why did society shape into monogammy. How can you possibly get everything you need out of one person??? Its impossible. You get the good sex form one guy, the friendnship with the other. The partying with one, the chilling with the other. To bad for feelings like jealousy and insecurity- then we would be all set!!!

The Calling Game

One of the things I hate the most about hooking up with someone- or even with a girl or guy friend-is the calling game. Everyone knows this game: When should I call, what time should it be at? how many days do I wait? I called him twice its his turn to call me now. F-ing annoying! I have recently been under that situation. I have met someone who always wantes me to call him. He will even text message me: Call me Now. WOW ALL THAT EFFORT FOR A TEXT MESSAGE HE COULD HAVE DIALED THE PHONE IF HE WANTED TO SPEAK WITH ME. Is he really that head strong on winning the calling game? I dont personally care too much. I will call. i will harass my girlfreinds and call them 4 or 5 times. I dont mind. But when it comes to hooking up- I like it to be 50/50. I dont like feelin glike the only one picking up the phone. And girls- if a guy doesnt even make the effort to pick up the phone- HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!! RIGHT!! Well guess what...I have lost the calling game and I guess that makes him the winner...the prize is ......NEVER HAVE ME CALL AGAIN!!! lol

Work

Well I have been counting down the hours until I go to work...Now I must leave in 20 minutes. I dread it. I wish that I could do nothing all week but still have money in my bank account. AS much as I would be bored not having a job I would love to have a free summer. Going up north, swimming in friends pools....wait I have no friends with pools. Can anyone hook me up? Anyways wish me luck. Im out!

Friends and exes...

I am wondering if it works being friends with an ex. I mean you both have to want the exact same thing with no hidden agendas. There has to be no booty calls and no jealousy over the others new fling. I have a friend who is still close with her ex and I am not sure it is a fullfilling relationship. There are tender moments and they are there for each other. But what about the new girl or guy? How do they feel?Can they all hang out without worries? I doupt that. I had my day full of exes today. Saw one, almost saw another and spoke to one on the phone. Not once was it an easy and strickly "friendly". There was hidden agendas and games. So, do we throw out of exes or do we keep them? When the love is gone what do we do? Is it worth all of the emotions? I have no clue. On eof my best guy friends K is someone I am still close with. But-we dated 10 years ago. Does that count? Maybe there is a certain grace perios you must go through. Be seperated as lovers then reunited as friends. Time is the test of friendships....just a thought.